Half Light
by Ritsu18
Summary: Struggling with her conscience will lead to doubt of her own humanity! Will this be too much to cope with even for a strong-minded Hanji? Will there be anyone there to pull her back from the abyss? Read on and find out! Warning: This story contains spoilers from chapters 84-85 of the manga! A LeviHan one-shot!


N/A: Hi everyone, I was contemplating with myself for a long time whether I should put this story out or not and now finally after season 3 of SnK has started to air, I've become hyped to see this particular part of the story animated, I decided to share this story with You all.

It's kind of an aftermath story following the events from chapters 84-85 of the manga. So, I'm warning all of You who didn't catch up with the manga, there will be some spoilers ahead!

It's a lot Hanji-centric mainly because I wanted to reflect on her point of view on these unpleasant incidents. To try and capture thoughts and emotions she coped with. I guess You'll be a judge of how well I was able to do so. Don't be too harsh :-/

That's all You need to know going into this story and beyond that I just hope You'll like it. If that happens to be the case, please don't hesitate to leave a review or a favorite. That would mean a lot to me ^-^

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. All rights belong to Hajime Isayama.

Enjoy the story!

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Hanji waited for the last person to leave the area with showers. And when that finally happened, she leaned back against tiles cold and wet from the droplets of water. When in next moment, she stumbles down, allowing her drained body to drop on the floor.

She covered her weary and distressed face with soaked hands. Memories returning to her in vivid images – standing right there, watching like an accidental bystander.

The battle with armored titan, then the sudden explosion from colossal titan. And the devastation that followed from that moment on.

Realization that she was the only one surviving the blast… losing her closest comrade and a friend.

Waiving off the compassion and humanity that is left inside of her and rush back in the midst of a battle, right on time to capture the armored titan… and it was all thanks to those brave soldiers from 104th training squad.

It was all flashing before her eyes – one gruesome scene after another.

And then, the most painful realization of all struck her.

Injured Erwin and Armin lying down just waiting for them to decide who should get the serum. For them to decide who will live.

The merciless fight between Levi on one side and Eren and Mikasa on the other. Hanji pushed the palms of her hands tightly against her eyes, trying to erase everything from her memory for good. However, it was a futile effort, because these dreadful recollections will always be there.

Suddenly, the weight of her own words spoken to Mikasa came back to her, hitting her right in the heart.

When she reflects back on that moment, she realizes that she said those words to her not out of empathy, but because that was her last resort to get everyone to accept the decision they made.

At the time, Levi was ready to give the serum to Erwin, their commander, and she agreed because she thought they still needed him. He was the soul and heart of humanity… what will they do without him?

She really tried to manipulate Mikasa into realizing their point of view and giving up on saving Armin.

Hanji tightened the grip on her face, nails leaving marks on her forehead and cheeks. Without warning she felt a dull pain on her left side of the face.

Letting out a muffled cry: "Ahh… fuck!" she cursed under her breath. The injury she gained was still fresh and it caused her a lot of pain from time to time. However, she caused it herself this time. Hanji still kept the bandages on, since it was just a few days since they got back.

Unexpectedly, someone opened the door, abruptly ending her moment of solitude.

It was Levi. He heard some strange noise coming from the shower area, so he decided to check it out.

When he opened the door, he saw a naked figure still under the shower, slumped on the floor. He couldn't see the face right away.

However, the person on the floor was startled by his rash entry, so she raised her head and upon seeing Levi she let out a surprised sigh out of her mouth.

Levi narrowed his eyes baffled by what was playing out in front of him. He uttered the name lower than a whisper: "Hanji?" She thought she felt bewilderment in his voice.

She indulged him a side glance, unable to utter a word, the burdens of previous events pressing her mind to shut down.

Despite of this, Levi understood what was going on. Only one look at her eyes and it all made sense. Without a word spoken between them, he comprehended.

Without thinking it through, he rushed over to her side, crouched beside her under the shower, getting soaked up, and wrapped a hand over her.

Hanji watched stunned, but still not able to produce any words. The corners of her eyes filled up with tears, her face making a tormented grimace, her lips twitching before she released a cry from her mouth at long last. She buried her head at the crook of his neck to prevent her weeps from being heard.

Meanwhile, Levi took off his jacket wrapping it around her bare shoulders, then pulling her closer to his body and letting her cry. While simultaneously making mild circles on her back in an effort to sooth her.

A whole hour passed by the time Hanji calmed down. Now, she was just casually resting on his chest. Levi wasn't about to plead with her to talk to him about this. If she wanted to talk eventually she will. Nevertheless, he assumed she just needed a shoulder to cry onto. He happened to be there at the right time and came in handy. Although, he had to admit, he was relieved that she didn't speak, because frankly, he wasn't sure what he would have said to comfort her.

Especially, when he himself was incapable to comprehend the events that took place that day.

He had dozed off somewhere else in his mind when a sudden sound coming from Hanji brought him back to the present.

Her healthy eye was closed, her head still placed on his chest, where her hands wrapped around his torso. She uttered the words, her voice muffled: "I can't tell wrong from right… anymore…" she exhaled a trembling breath. Then she continued in the same tone: "I'm empty inside. My mind doesn't know what to make of this situation… I remembered the words I said to Mikasa… I'm not even sure what I meant by that. I was ready to abandon my humanity… and persuade her into abandoning her dying friend… so I could save all of human race. I'm trying to determine whom I betrayed? Commander Erwin… or Armin… Levi, are we bad people? Are we really monsters in all of this, I ask you?"

Levi forced her to straighten up, clenching his fists around her arms, jolting her vigorously: "It doesn't matter anymore, does it!? What's done, is done… so it's pointless to talk about it…" he mumbled, then continued whispering: "I made the decision, so you don't have to burden yourself with this, it's not your burden to carry… it's mine. You are not a bad person nor am I. Sometimes, hard decisions descend on us, but that does not mean that we have any desire to hold the fate of humanity in our hands. In the end… it is our duty as soldiers. And that, that we chose ourselves."

Hanji sensed so much pain and unspoken grief Levi held back inside. She felt so foolish thinking that she was the only one suffering.

Hesitant, she cupped his face with her hands, bringing her face inches away from his. She rested her forehead on his own. Letting out a warm breath while feeling his own on her cheek, she mumbled: "I'm such a fool… I'm sorry… I was being selfish thinking I was the only one who suffered. I'm sorry… so sorry" a sob escaped her mouth, she opened her mouth to continue, but Levi interrupted her: "It's ok, I know you're hurting too." He put his hands over hers. They both closed their eyes, enjoying each other's presence.

Hanji asked, trying to reassure herself: "We'll take care of each other, right?" she said, her voice almost below a whisper.

Levi nodded, replying: "We will… always…"

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N/A: That's all from me for now. I hope You guys liked this story, if you did, go leave a favorite or a review. It would make me very happy ^-^

Anyway, I'll be back eventually, bye!


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